On The Doctor

Doctor Who never ceases to capture my attention, no matter the content of the episodes it is as captivating now as it was when I first discovered it and in some cases more so. Part of the reason it is so appealing to me is that (as of the 2005 series) the Doctor is alone in the universe, the Time Lords are forever trapped during the time of their demise. He is as lonely as I usually feel, though he takes in companions to keep his attention off of his people.

His heroic qualities aside, he is most likely the most brilliant man in the universe as well, always foiling the plots of those whose ultimate goals typically end up threatening Earth (for which the Doctor has a strange affinity). His passion for preserving life is so completely altruistic that it seems impossible that it could exist in any universe. He weeps for those that fall, even if they are the enemy and all of this came to a head for the 10th incarnation of the character in The End of Time.

Those who have not yet seen it and plan to please DO NOT CONTINUE READING, YOU HAVE BEEN WARNED

The mysterious Time War has always been the most fascinating enigma of the mythos created by Russell T. Davies and some of its contents were revealed throughout the past 4 seasons and some rather important information in these past 2 episodes. You learn in the 1st season from the 9th Doctor that the Time Lords, arguably the most powerful and passive race in the universe was destroyed in the Time War, a war of such unimaginable scale that spread across the stars and time itself. You later learn that the Doctor himself was responsible for the destruction of the Time Lords and their enemies, the Daleks as well as creating the Time Lock to keep it contained from the outside world. This reveals his deep loneliness and passion for all life including his Batman-like disdain for firearms. He had two choices, burn his own people with their enemy or let them raze the entire cosmos with nothing left but ash. The choice must have been the most difficult choice of his life because it was one that he could not interfere with later. The End of Time shows us that the Time Lords upon entering the War changed into a violent, aggressive race intent on ending time itself to become beings of pure consciousness. This change toward violence must be part of the reason why the Doctor makes the same sacrifice again for the sake of Life and again forsaking his own people to endless death and destruction. Even among his own people, he is still alone and continues on his travels through time and space, exploring with various companions, saving life when and where possible perhaps to attempt to make amends for his choices, and echoing the words of the 10th Doctor, I don't want it to end for him, but he has indeed collected his reward.

There shall be more to come on loneliness in Sci-Fi, any suggestions on a series or movie?

The Sky

The sky and its extension, the vacuum of space, has fascinated me ever since I first saw an episode of Star Trek. As to the reason why, it might have something to do with the freedom that these environments represent; you aren't confined by the restrictions of gravity and land formations. To be able to travel endlessly coming across fantastic and unknown places is something extremely appealing, but to undertake such an epic quest requires confidence that I do not have. The fact is that I am comfortable where I am, just like I am much more comfortable alone than with others of my species, yet I desire a life in the sky. Such contradictory behavior is not very conducive to change, so what to do about it? The simple answer would be to challenge my boundaries of comfort, but I don't know that I'm ready for that quite yet. I suppose for now, my dreams will have to fill my desire to fly forever.

To be continued...

Obvservations of Social Interaction

I suspect it has something to do with the fact that we do not want to be alone. As a group we are able to help those who need helping and interaction seems to be quite essential to being a human or some other animal. In nature loneliness is essentially a death sentence, which is why I believe that humans adopted this need for others from either Intelligent Design or Evolution or what have you. So why did humans adopt feelings and emotion? These largely frustrating constructs seem to do a lot of damage to many groups who do not share the same beliefs and we are crushed when certain events occur that we find "heart-breaking." This perplexes me on a level that I have yet to come across so far.

Is there truly a purpose for emotion? At least in my experience it appears to have been more of a burden than an aid when shaping my own identity. Perhaps this is why I continue to suppress them as much as possible, and in doing so, I think that I am dehumanizing myself, which then leads to drifting away from those who I've actually gotten close to. And I hate it.

I want to change this part of myself, to open up and have more confidence, but I find that the more I desire this, the less I work toward attaining it and I wonder how other people do it in a way that appears completely natural to me. This only leads to frustration and self doubt, which, as you can imagine, is not very good toward my ultimate goal of breaking the walls of isolationism that I have built around me for the past 20 years.

Typically, I find solace in solitude, however, by some strange occurrence, I decided to create a Facebook page, which triggered some change in my mind telling me to communicate with people: people that I am close to, people that I am acquainted with and people that I knew from years ago. Perhaps in this way I have become more confident through the impersonal contact of a computer screen and keyboard, but real, human interaction is still beyond my grasp at this time. For what I can only remember being the first time in my life, I want to be near someone and I don't have the skills required... Yet.

To be continued...